I miss her.

I keep making it worse.

I don't know anything anymore.

Lamentations and greifs

Optimism and remote happy events.

Consequencial thoughts of both blending together.

Reiteration that it'll all be better soon.

Quiet sarcasm directed at self that it won't.

Lyrical nonsense reflecting my surface thoughts.

Random humour note.

Reminder to all of you that actually read this that you don't actually read this.

Sign off.

"If I could live amongst your kind, would you love me?"

I've been having some strange dreams here recently, which can only mean one thing:

Creative build-up! Which can only mean one thing:

I need a book to read! Which can only mean one thing:

I need money! Which can only mean one thing:

I need a job!

I've been having a lot of strange dreams here recently, therefore, I need a job.

I also need to do my homework, but that's mindless.

Of course, it worries me that all of my strange dreams are only strange less so because they deviate from reality, but more because they rarely do. Here recently I've watched several people die from their perspectives in normal ways, getting shot, stabbed, run over, etc. It's not as horrible as you think it is, until you get into their thoughts.

It's odd being the kind of person I am and loping around in other's heads and thinking to yourself "wow, these are some normal people, they got lives and jobs, and people they love, and people who love them, not a bad gig."

And then they die.

It's like a punchline to a tasteless joke. The thing is, is I don't know why I'm having these dreams, I stopped being fascinated with the prospect of death ages ago, and I haven't watched anything or read anything to push my mind there.

If anything, I don't think "Paranormal Activity," and "The Fourth Kind," should be inducing those sorts of dreams. After all, one's about demons, the other is about aliens.

I don't think aliens and demons are cause-worthy to be giving me dreams in which I watch people die by accident/murder by disgruntled madmen/teenagers not paying attention on the roads.

I should be having dreams about demonically possessed aliens possessing people and speaking in dead human languages because they've yet to get with the times.

We speak English, Spanish, French, Japanese, Chinese, and Japanese now motherfuckers, if you want to communicate while you're terrifying us, at least do it so we can understand.

I mean damn guys, come on.

Now I'm not tryin' ta say, anything, at all here.

One wonderful weekend with my love. Four long and beautiful days spent in her arms. Two days since I left her standing, a hundred or so before I see her again.

Maybe this time it won't be so bad because this time I've got a plan.

I really shouldn't have left her there though, I shouldn't have left at all.

If there's one place I belong in this world more than in her arms I haven't found it and I don't plan too.

God take me away from this place, let me see my soul with her.

Oh, and God, while you're at it, save the trees.

Thanks.

Where has all the time gone?

All but three years ago my life was a high school loner's drama.

Now, now it's a fucking college loner's drama.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for once the title begets the journal.

AND THE JOUNRAL THUS JUSTIFIES THE TITLE FOR YOU WILL NOW INSERT THE TITLE OF CURRENT ISSUE HERE>

As for the rest of us, things have changed, I'm just screwing around because the one thing that hasn't changed is my boredom.

It's just what I do about it.